100 Ways To Get Killed In Death Note
by MarluCosplayer13
Summary: This story includes: Beyond Birthday, L, Near, Light, Matt, Mello, and Misa. I might make a sequel if it's popular :D
1. Chapter 1

50 Ways To Get Killed In Death Note

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><p>AN: I love these types of stories, so I'm going to create my own! Yay! I don't think it's all that funny, but if you think it is, then that's _**AWESOME!**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But BB and L own me, if that makes anybody feel better! My friends fear for my life…

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><p>Burst into Light's room at 4 in the morning yelling, "IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP LIGHT IMAGAY!"<p>

Tell Misa that you kissed Light and that you _loved_ it (Ew. I hate Light anyway)

Refuse to let L have any type of sweets at all, saying that a big boy needs to eat his vegetables.

Keep calling Mello a 'she' and then invite him to go shopping in Victoria's Secret with you.

Keep yelling at Matt and make retarded noises every time he tries to jump or shoot something in his video games.

Tell Mikami that Kira is a *censored*

Tell BB that they ran out of strawberry jam at the store. "But that's okay! I bought you grape jelly instead."

Steal Mello's chocolate stash and blame it on Matsuda, even though you have chocolate stains all over your face.

Tell Light that Kira is the stupidest name you've ever heard of, and "maybe you should switch his name to Baka instead."

Steal all of Misa's clothes and then stuff them into Mello's closet.

Tell L that the alphabet is overrated.

Run around task force HQ screaming about how Matt turned into a zombie from playing all of those video games.

Shoot all of Near's toys with a pistol and then say "I thought they were targets."

Sit by L, and every single time he tries to get a fork-full of cake, quickly snatch the plate away so that he stabs the table.

Keep calling BB "L" and then ask him why he has multiple personalities.

Tell Mello that no matter how hard he tries, Near is still ten times better than him.

Keep calling Near a jumbo sized Q-tip.

Go into Light's room and pray paint the word "Kira" everywhere in hot-pink.

Ask Misa where she got all of her plastic surgeries done.

Replace all of the bullets in Mello's gun with mini marshmallows.

Make sarcastic comments to Matt while he's playing his video games and then give everyone in the room a play-by-play in a deep commentator's voice.

Hang Misa's bra on Mello's doorknob.

Lock Misa and Light in a closet together and "forget" about them for 10 hours.

Tell Beyond Birthday that L is the smartest person on earth.

Call Misa and pretend to be Light's girlfriend.

Tell L that they burned the Cheesecake Factory down.

Buy Mello white chocolate telling him that it reminded you of Near.

Tell Light that you are Kira.

Breath really deeply and tell Matt that you are his father.

Make ultra-spicy cupcakes and then tell L it was a secret family recipe.

Talk to BB and keep calling jam "jelly".

Replace Mello's shampoo with maple syrup.

Keep asking L and Light if they're dating.

Replace all of the batteries in Matt's game systems with sausages.

Tell L that cupcakes are just muffins with bad hair.

Prank call Mello and talk in an almost indistinguishable Middle Eastern accent, asking him about wanting to buy clothes for his husband.

Pour coffee all over Matt's game systems, claiming, "I just tripped."

Tell Near that a little kid has no place staying at the task force.

Replace all of Beyond Birthday's knives with rubber chickens.

Put make-up on Light's face while he's sleeping.

Ask L if he feels like a mother having to deal with all of these children.

Ask Mello an impossible question and while he's trying to figure it out, yell, "EFF YOU MELLO, NOW I OWE $20 TO NEAR! I _knew_ you were all brawn and no brain!"

Try to stab BB when he isn't looking and then when he turns around, tell him you were just trying to do him a favor.

Ask Misa and Mello what it's like to live with so many guys.

When Matt gets to the most important part in a game, hit him on the head with a rolled up magazine, claiming that there was a fly there.

Help Misa style L's hair.

Ask BB if he's ever had an identity crisis.

Take whatever L is eating and smash it in his face.

Call Light Kira and tell him that you can't be killed by him because it's impossible to murder anyone by pimp-slapping them.

Go around HQ singing the song A Gorey Demise by Creature Feature and tell everyone at HQ that they're in it. (It has every letter of the alphabet, a name for every letter, and how the person died. i.e: A is for Amber who drowned in a pool.)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Since I consider 4 reviews to be popular, I'm going to continue my story. YAY!

Disclaimer: It was such a total fluke when playing M.A.S.H. with my friends that I ended up marrying BB and my job was a serial killer. We didn't plan it like that, so it was pretty weird. We also didn't plan that me and BB had 45 kids, lived an apartment, drove a blood red pick-up truck, and had an elephant as a pet. I feel sorry for our neighbors…

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><p>Ask L why he didn't wipe off his eyeliner.<p>

Tell Mello that he looks like a coconut head.

Ask Matt why he doesn't kiss Mello already.

Throw all of Near's toys away, claiming that they're for babies.

Buy a huge fake diamond ring and tell Misa that Light proposed to you.

Ask BB if he's best friends with LL Cool J. (Listen to his song Mama Said Knock You Out to get it.)

Ask Light if he has the moves like Jagger.

Replace L's sugar cubes with Splenda.

Buy Mello a pair of stilettos and ask him if he's going to stand on the street corner tonight.

Tell Matt that video games suck and books are way better.

Super-glue two mismatching puzzle pieces together and watch Near struggle to tear them apart.

Ask Misa what the Pythagorean Theorem is.

Ask Light why he is named after a super-sparkly murderer. (Kira means sparkle in Japanese)

Ask L why everybody in Japan calls him "R" (Japanese people don't have the letter L in their alphabet. They often use the letter "R" in place of the L for English words)

Steal Mello's gun and put it next to Near with the safety off.

Tell BB that he has an unhealthy obsession with L.

Put green hair dye into Near's shampoo and then after he showers ask him why he had the urge to grow a garden.

Buy sugar-free chocolate for Mello.

Flush all of Matt's cigarettes down the toilet.

Take a retarded picture of Misa and sell it to a famous gossip magazine.

Put peanut-butter on all of the computer keyboards, and then ask L why he has sticky keys.

Paint Mello's room yellow, telling him that it's a "mellow" color.

Ask Light if he was best friends with Saddam Hussein.

Tell Misa that Light is dumping her for L.

Ask BB if he's that world famous detective.

Stick Hello-Kitty band-aids all over Near.

Ask Misa who she is, and then keep telling her it doesn't ring a bell. Then snap your fingers and say, "I remember now! You were that hobo girl I saw at the homeless shelter!"

Turn Matt into the SPCA, telling them to be careful because he bites.

Ask L if he ever went to Hogwarts and met Dumbledore.

Tell Near that this is a restricted area and that children should not be here.

Tell Light not to go near a mirror because it might shatter just looking at him.

Tell everyone that you got a break-through in the Kira case, but then apologize saying that you realized it was just Mello.

Tell Light that you know what L's full name is, but then refuse to tell him.

Demand that Near owes you $30 when you're the one who lost the bet.

Tell BB that he's the emo version of L.

Ask L if he's an insomniac.

Tell Misa that she doesn't need a scary costume for Halloween- she can go as herself.

Yell at Matt because he wont stop playing his "Game PS and his P Boy."

Start laughing hysterically and tell Light that you didn't know he played for the other team.

Tell BB that he did a really good job on his Halloween costume.

Ask Mello if he's planning on being Misa's bridesmaid.

Rip the head off of Near's teddy bear and then tell him that it was for the best.

Ask L if he's ever been a victim of identity theft.

Ask Light if he's ever met Edward Cullen.

Replace Mello's gun with Near's finger puppets.

Put super-glue on the inside rims of Matt's goggles.

Tell Misa that Light moved to Antarctica.

Ask Light if he's ever considered doing the Justin Beiber look.

Run around the house yelling that the Shinigami are chasing you.

Tell BB that the L look was "so last year."

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><p>Plase Read and Review! I hope you liked this chapter too! [Lol I rhyme all the time cuz I'm a poet and didn't know it. Beat THAT!]<p> 


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